You Become What You Think About: How to Defeat Leadership Stress

May 24, 2026

As my career as a CEO has grown, I’ve been fortunate to speak to audiences at many events, podcasts, and across various media. One of the most frequent questions I receive is, “What’s the most valuable thing your career has taught you?”

My answer is simple: “You become what you think about.”

I came to this realization when I happened across a verse from Proverbs 23:7, which states (in the King James Version), “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.”

One of the greatest books to address this verse and concept is As a Man Thinketh by James Allen. In it, Allen offers a powerful analogy of a garden, saying, “A man’s mind may be likened to a garden, which may be intelligently cultivated or allowed to run wild; but whether cultivated or neglected, it must, and will, bring forth.”

The Incredible (and Terrifying) Power of Your Mind

God didn’t just create your mind; He made it breathtakingly powerful. It has nearly unlimited potential to uplift, encourage, and strengthen you. Your thoughts can chart a path forward and drive you to greatness. They can push away the roadblocks and criticism in your path and move you to significance. …but… unfortunately, your thoughts have just as much power to cripple, discourage, and ruin you.

“The mind is a wonderful servant, but a terrible master,” says leadership expert Robin Sharma.

Perhaps the greatest battle you will ever face is to control your mind. It is your greatest asset - and your greatest enemy.

What a Fake Surgery Reveals About the Power of Your Mind

In 2002, orthopedic surgeon Dr. J. Bruce Moseley conducted a landmark sham knee surgery study. Patients with osteoarthritis were divided into two groups. One received actual arthroscopic procedures, while the second received sham surgeries - incisions only, with no work actually done to the inside of the knee (patients were sedated and believed it was real). Shockingly, both groups reported similar pain relief and improved knee function. (As a side note: I’m not sure how Dr. Moseley got away with this deceptive study, but I have to hand it to him - that level of commitment to science is impressive).

This, together with a wealth of other placebo effect research, illustrates the incredible influence the mind has over the body. Our beliefs and expectations truly shape our physical experiences. The truth is that your environment isn’t causing you stress. Your thoughts are.

Your Job is Creating Pressure, Not Stress 

The demands of our jobs create pressure, not stress. We get to choose how we respond to that pressure. Unfortunately, most people consciously or unconsciously choose to convert pressure into stress. “Life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you react to it,” according to pastor Charles Swindoll.

This isn’t to say we must accept every circumstance we face, but it does mean you can change your response to pressure. As motivational expert Jim Rohn once said, “Don’t wish it were easier, wish you were better.”

The First Step in Overcoming the Anxiety of Leadership

The first step is to gain clear awareness of what your mind is saying to you. You must be ruthlessly mindful of your thoughts.

Growing up, worry was my default setting. This especially plagued me once I started a marketing agency at age 25 and began the journey of a small business owner. In the early years, I constantly worried about payroll, projects, sales, employees, competitors, and lawsuits, to name a few.

The problem? Most of these worries weren’t mine to solve. They were circumstances beyond my control, yet I refused to let them leave my mind. Ruminating on these worries became a source of constant stress. A turning point finally came when I picked up Dale Carnegie’s How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. The book didn’t just help me; it launched my journey out of anxiety and into real freedom from worry.

“One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living,” Carnegie wrote. “We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon instead of enjoying the roses blooming outside our windows today.”

Thoughts are just words and pictures in your head. They don’t always reflect reality. In fact, we don’t choose most of the thoughts that enter our minds. Just because a thought flows in doesn’t mean you have to entertain it.

Yes, it’s difficult to eliminate a thought entirely. If someone says, “Don’t think of a pink elephant,” that’s exactly what pops into your head. But that doesn’t mean you have to dwell on every unwelcome thought that arrives. You can take control of your mind and shift your focus away from the negative, unhelpful ones.

This concept is powerfully conveyed in 2 Corinthians 10:5: “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
As James Allen illustrated in his garden analogy, “So may a man tend the garden of his mind, weeding out all the wrong, useless, and impure thoughts, and cultivating toward perfection the flowers and fruits of right, useful, and pure thoughts.”

Stay attuned to your thoughts and practice mindfulness. Notice which ones lift you up and which ones drag you down. Sort the positive from the negative, the helpful from the harmful. Welcome the good ones with open arms and gently push the bad ones aside.

Feeling overwhelmed by your thoughts? Author Russ Harris offers great advice: “Anytime you’re feeling stressed, anxious, or depressed, ask yourself, “What story is my mind telling me now?”

The Pressure of Leadership is More of a Blessing Than You Think

A life without troubles is impossible - especially for leaders. We will face an endless stream of our own challenges, while others bring fresh problems to our doorsteps. There's unrelenting pressure to become more efficient, generate greater profits, resolve every issue, and always have the answers. Yes, pressure can feel uncomfortable, even brutal at times. But it's also one of life's greatest gifts.

Without pressure, growth simply doesn't happen. Diamonds don't form without intense crushing force. Muscles don't strengthen without resistance. Pressure pushes us to evolve, refine our processes, cut away waste, and move forward.

True growth rarely emerges from comfort zones.

And remember: pressure itself doesn't create stress. The demands from your job, colleagues, boss, or even your kids' schedules aren't the source of your stress.

As Wayne Dyer wisely observed, “No one can create negativity or stress within you. Only you can do that by virtue of how you process your world.”

Many people long for a life entirely free of pressure and stress. It sounds appealing, but it's unattainable. As endocrinologist (and the researcher widely considered the father of stress research) Hans Selye put it, “Complete freedom from stress is death.”

Stop waiting for ideal conditions to arrive. Instead, learn to embrace life amid the challenges.

As theologian Reinhold Niebuhr said in the Serenity Prayer: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”